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Thursday, April 15, 2021


There comes a time in the development of every gang when when it matures from a collective of like-minded but disparate souls on parallel paths winding their way toward a vague set of goals over a distant horizon, to being more like a bad-ass pod of orcas working together toward a common goal of scaring the ever-living shit out of literally anyone they come across (fig 1).  

Figure 1


But where does this unity of mind and purpose come from? How can we mature as a gang into the unstoppable force that we're meant to be? Orcas at least have geographic proximity working for them, but we're scattered all over the globe. Well now thanks to our new merch store, Hogs and orcas now have a couple things in common- SoCal housing that's WAY too small, and a unified appearance that engenders feelings of both fear and admiration in all who see us.

It's often said, good merch doesn't make a good gang, but a good gang does make good merch.  And besides, what's a gang without a racket? Just some kind of club? Freemasons? (fig2)


Figure 2

I mean, even the Girl Scouts sell merch. Come to think of it, they're are absolutely ruthless! They've even been known to post up a table of cookies outside of pot dispensaries! (fig 3, fig 4)

Figure 3


Figure 4


Talk about preying on the helpless... I would never suggest that we should be as savage as the Girl Scouts, but wearing and promoting our wares helps  the gang in multiple ways:

1. The more people see our logo, the easier we can grow our community. Wouldn't you rather share a run on your local trail or sidewalk with a fellow Phantom Hog than just another person from your local Fleet Feet run club?

2. More funding = more fun-ing. Building the gang's coffers allows for things like actual race medals, trophies, belt buckles, race shirts, and even (hopefully) subsidizing in-person club rallies and meet ups (fig 5).

Figure 5


3. Intimidation- I've been wearing some of the samples around and I must say, I've been getting a lot more respect out there in the streets.

4. Security- When was the last time you walked into a biker bar and punched a guy wearing gang colors? 

5. Um... it's called fashion. Have you even seen how stylish these designs are? (fig 6)

Figure 6

So why are you still reading this? Go check out our new merch store by clicking the "Merch!" tab on the Phantom Hogs home page! 

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